National Grief Awareness Day, observed on August 30, is dedicated to educating people about the process of grief, and to offer support to those who are grieving. Grief is a complex emotional experience that occurs in response to a loss, and the experience can be different for everyone. A person could experience a wide range of emotions as they grieve, such as shock, sorrow, helplessness, or regret, but also anger, numbness, guilt or even relief. Grief is not limited to those emotions, and all these emotions are a normal part of the grieving process.

Usually, grief refers to the pain felt in response to the loss of a loved one, but people can grieve many kinds of losses, like the loss of an important relationship, loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a job, or loss of their health status after receiving a life-changing diagnosis. Whenever there is a significant change in one’s life, there is almost always a loss of some kind, and with that loss comes grief. There can also be many losses within an initial loss; for example, when you lose a loved one, you lose not only the physical person, but also the activities and routines of your shared life, as well as your imagined future together. It can be helpful to acknowledge these additional losses as you grieve.

Grief can feel like it comes in “waves”, which may feel overwhelming and intense at times. These waves may be triggered by significant anniversaries or even mundane occurrences that remind a person that they are now navigating life without their loved one. Over time, these waves will lessen in frequency and intensity, but it is natural to continue to experience them.

Loss and grief are not things that a person simply “gets over.” After experiencing a significant loss, how can someone be expected to go back to “life as usual”? Instead, the goal is not to return to life as if the loss never occurred, but rather to cultivate a new way of living that balances an maintaining ongoing connection to the deceased, while also living a meaningful life (for more, see William Worden’s Tasks of Mourning).

There is no “right” way to grieve, but there are ways you can support yourself or others throughout the journey.

How you can support yourself through grief:

• Acknowledge your emotions without judgement, knowing that all feelings are a normal part of grief.
• Express your grief to supportive family or friends, and through writing or other hobbies.
• Honor the person you lost in a way that is meaningful to you.
• Treat yourself with compassion and patience, and remember there is no “right” way to grieve.
• Seek outside support from a mental health professional or support group if needed.

How you can support others who are grieving:

• Listen with compassion and nonjudgement, knowing that each person’s grief is unique and does not have a set timeline.
• Be patient and allow the person to grieve at their own pace and in their own way.
• Offer practical support, like preparing a meal or assisting with chores or errands.
• Continue to be present and supportive in the weeks and months after the loss, not just in the immediate aftermath.
• Take care of yourself, too. You cannot care for others if you are also not taking care of yourself.